Ok so Nashville is pretty cool. But at times, it gets overwhelming. At times you are all alone. No one is around, nothing is going on. This wouldn’t be so bad IF you hadn’t just had THE MOST INSANE NIGHT OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE just the night before. Now lately I had someone say to me “Oh, you are posting things trying to be some rockstar or something”. I disagree. And feel free to disagree with me as well. But mostly, I won’t care.
This is my life. Do I think I’m better than anyone because i’ve gone through STUPID hard times, and had some AMAZINGLY GOOD things happen as well. Of course not. And is struggle comparative? Can you say to the son of a crack or heroine addict that their struggle isn’t valid, because they didn’t grow up in a war torn country where they lost one of their parents to gun fire?
How can you compare struggle? i don’t think you can. On any level. Tupac could rap about things, I will NEVER IN MY LIFE experience, but I can identify. SOMEHOW> through the struggle. And so can millions of other people. There could be someone who suffered through terrible tortures, the likes of which Tupac never dreamt of, but even they could identify with him. Because you can’t quantify struggle. There is no measurement of adversity. It is simply adversity. And it is something we can allllll identify with. And great stories of overcoming adversity are meant to inspire us all. Not make us feel guilty about coping with our own. Just inspire us. Let us know we are not alone. Let us know, there is hope, there is success, there is overcoming, there is victory.
Now Nashville is a great town.
I’ve had some crazy and amazing things happen here. Things that mean a lot to me, because they are related to music, and because I care about music a lot.
I still end up in my tiny little apartment alone at the end of the night. I still write songs alone, present them alone, put myself out there alone, and wait for the criticism to fall on myself alone. But it is a welcomed practice at this point.
I get hurt alone. I cry alone. I think alone.
But I win too. I win a little, in some way, almost every day. Just being in Nashville. And when I win, I NEVER win alone. I win with others. I win with those who support me, who encourage me, who message me, who communicate, who reach out, who help, who respect, who champion my success for some reason I still do not know. I win with them, because they are THE ONLY way I ever win. But we do. We win.
As far as my music goes, things have been going exceptionally well lately. I feel they will only get better. But if I had no one to share each small victory with, I think I would go mad. I think true happiness comes from sharing a knowing moment with something else. Nature, friends, family, god or the universe, some unknowing, unphysical thing even. But it is shared. A piece of great artwork. You could stand alone in front of it. And be brought to tears by it. But someone else’s hand created that, to communicate to your eye, and then to your core. And it was shared. Even nature, is shared. The existence of light, just to be able to share the form of the world, for the recognition of those with eyes to perceive it. Plants don’t have eyes. But yet they share something with us, that we could never duplicate, that we could NEVER give back to THEM.
I’m not stoned. Trust me.
Read this book:
A Little Book on the Human Shadow
by Robert Bly
Listen to this band:
The Kills
you don’t have to of course. And if you do, you don’t have to think they are very incredible. But I do. And since this is my blog, and I’m guessing you have come here to read what I’m writing, I’m going to write about two things that have affected my life in a great way lately.
Now for your thoughts. the age old question. Are people basically good, or are people basically bad?
And don’t even think about leaving a comment with your opinion, without at least attempting to justify your reasoning…
I’m going to write more often. I promise. I’m sorry for being so slack after setting this blog up. It doesn’t make much sense to have a blog and not to use it, does it? Well I’ve dealt with some things, and I think I have the ability now to operate this site in the way I have always desired. Its a matter of tweaking your own brain and the things you’ve always struggled against, to a point where they no longer have dominion over you….and all your greatest desires, are now within reach.