#440. Four 40 ounce bottles of Crown Royal. Ouch.
#439. When its -39 degrees C out, but with the wind it feels like -43. Owe!
#438. When you change your business meeting from 11am because you had too many Great Western Pilsners the night before, and you use the excuse that your car died. Then later that day at 4:38, your car dies. Ack!
#437. Its 4:37 in the afternoon and completely dark outside. Depressing.
#436. The show that was supposed to start on TV at 4:30 can now finally begin at 4:36, after those 6 minutes of commercials. Son of A!
#435. 4:35pm government employees start thinking they are working a “long day” today.
#434. Watching Jonovision. ouch.
#433. Shouldn’t we be watching Family Matters?
#432. Degrassi Junior High Episode where Wheels ends up in a strange car with a strange man touching his leg. Throw that rock and run Mofo!
#431. The “Some people say I eat too many Chocolate Bars” guy is a national hero, but at what cost?
#430. Steve Urkel was not canadian. 
HURTS!
#429. When the highlight of your day is the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns. Ouch!
#428. Royalty disputes over Hockey Night in Canada theme song tear a nation apart!
#427. Michael J Fox announcing his Parkinsons diagnosis. Not good news. Celine Dion announces exodus from Canada for residency in Vegas… eases the pain a little.
#426. Being 24 points in to a 440 point list, suffering from boredom on a Saskatchewan winter’s night…. Painful.
#425. Watching your football team lose in the CFL championship because someone couldn’t count to 13, and having to suffer through the verbal trashing of BC lions fans because of it. 11…. 12…. 13…. DAMN IT!
#424. Getting run out of saskatchewan with cow poop getting thrown at you and your family, and your home after missing an important field goal in a football game. Ouch!
#423. Wait a minute… PAUL La Police, PAUL McCallum…. Mc Call the f’ing police already? Don’t hire any more Paul’s to the Roughriders!
#422. Crop Circles. Cool to look at, but instantly make you look like a crazy psycho farmer who wishes he had a balloon boy to flaunt around.
#421. Being 18 and 19 and legally able to drink in your country, and then trying to go have some fun with your friends in the USA only to be once again “not yet of the age for having fun”.
#420. Living anywhere other than Vancouver on April 20th. Ouch.
#419. A professional football league where for a time, one QUARTER of the teams in the league were named The Roughriders
#418. That day when you are no longer eligible for coloring contests… but on the bright side you can win Beer contests in some provinces.
#417. When Coors bought out Molson. Ouch.
#416. Canadian Mike Myer’s awkward face on camera when kanye made the now famous statement, “George Bush does not care about black people”. Yikes!
#415. John Candy RIP. ouch.
#414. Rita McNeal still going strong. ouch.
#413. Will the media still call the Roughriders fans the “13th man” next season?
#412. Anne Murray inspired a whole slough of soccer moms to get terrible terrible hair cuts.
#411. 4-1-1 Costs a Loonie. RIP….. OFF.
#410. Stephen Harper’s autobiography will resemble the movie Men In Black, and many character similarities will be found between he and the character “Edgar”.
#409. Canadians may sit on the fence about a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know how to complain about our ass getting sore from sitting there.
#408. instead of .08 being the legal limit for how much alcohol content you have in your blood, in Canada we have a .08 limit of blood in your alcohol…. because bar fights impair your judgment.
#407. Tim Horton’s doesn’t deliver. ouch.
#406. Stripper’s get hurt when guys “make it rain” with Loonies and Toonies.
#405. the day you realize the city you were born in Regina, rhymes with only one other word in the english language, and not only do you have to bare the mocking that comes from the rest of your country for that, you also then find out your province of Saskatchewan is known elsewhere as “the Gap”.
#404. Turns out the hype around Dick Assman fizzled. ouch.
#403. Beastie Boys lyric “I’d like to take you out and wine and dine ya, but I’m from Brooklyn and you’re from Regina” Ouch.
#402. Tommy Douglas was called a communist for starting Health Care in Canada…. but Obama is only called a socialist. No fair. 
#401. There was a 7 yard clean punt in our professional football league’s championship game. FAIL!
#400. The last one for today. A truly painful moment: Billy Bob Thorton goes on CBC radio and states that Canadian music fans are like “mashed potatoes without the gravy”. I guess he didn’t realize how seriously we take our gravy. Watch for a “mashed potatoes with gravy” commemorative 50 cent coin to come out in retaliation during the next calendar year.